Andante Taste Buds

UNDER THE SHEETS
Friday, March 20, 2015
ANDANTE TASTE BUDS
& Soprano Love Flavors
Andante Taste Buds

What’s the point of a holiday if we don’t have the time to take things easy and indulge in a slow life, even if for a few days? As we take things nice and slowly, we become aware of a new depth to our senses, a new layer to our sexual beast, just like the peeling of a fruit or taking off a lover’s blouse. There is chemistry between food and sex, and for this vacation, you should study every connection, suck on its tilt, and feast on its meat.

 

Playing Solo

 

Ambiguous impulses and surreal fantasies

Food can be sexually arousing. We can get high from a dopamine-saturated mouthful of fresh oysters, seed-bearing eggplants, and hot chilies… from listening to the suggestive mouth music we make when we lick a lollipop, to the carnal noise pasta makes when stirred with olive oil. We may also find the idea of devouring a living creature, or being eaten alive, very erotic. Vorarephilia or vore is typically materialized in prose and picture, and shared by a wired fan base.

 

Domestic dildos

Firm veggies (cucumber, zucchinis, and carrots) and fruits (bananas), if used safely, can double as sex toys for vaginal and anal penetration. To avoid any major discomfort or germs, it is best to wash the phallic produce of choice thoroughly and cover it with a condom (opt for flavored condoms if you desire to take a taste of the action!). To raise the tempo, apply ice cubes on your favorite lady parts.

 

Macho pleasures

In the novel Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth, the main character masturbates using a liver steak and a cored-out apple. In Seijun Suzuki's 1967 film Branded to Kill, the protagonist sniffs boiling rice to be sexually aroused. In Jim Jarmusch’s 1991 film Night on Earth, a taxicab driver confesses to his passenger (a priest) of having had sex with a pumpkin. With men, practicality overrides sensuality.

 

Wet and messy fetishes

Individuals with WAM fetishes are drawn to the tactile and olfactory sensations of wet and messy substances against their body. There is a real need to experience sensory stimulation, sexual liberation, and take everything off. Sharpened by the voyeurism, smearing, and overload of the senses, orgasms multiply. A great way to have a hot WAM fiesta is to mute the porn video, put on a song or an audio book that gets you off, and daub your fleshy canvas with all sorts of slippery, luscious things.

 

I Eat You As In I Love You

 

Body shots

Liquor makes men bold and women loose. Lick her breasts and belly, shower them with salt, take a shot of beer, and then a wedge of lime from her mouth. The Japanese version called seaweed sake or wakame sake requires closing both legs tightly enough that the triangle between the thighs and mons pubis form a cup. Pour sake down her chest into the warm cavity and drink it from there, as from a well.

 

Nyotaimori & Nantaimori (or body sushi)

Not in the mood for sashimi this evening? Switch to seasonal fruits. Filled with potassium and antioxidants, grapefruits, watermelons, berries, cherries, and mangoes revive your libido, do not give you a sugar rush, nor make you feel sluggish or unappealing. A diet of raw and natural treats offers an exotic potential, unless one of you is offended by serving as a ‘living platter.’

 

Hot & cold sensations

Figure out your lover’s most responsive body parts. Draw designs on their bare surface using iced confections and retrace these same patterns with your tongue (from the novel Cherry Slushee by Alison Tyler). Run chocolate or honey from cleavage to navel while sucking on a mint, rolling it around in your mouth, before you lick your way all the way down south. Figs and guacamole bring an intellectual touch; figa is Italian slang for vagina, and the Aztecs called the avocado tree the testicle tree.

 

Salt, pepper, and light BDSM

Imagine her naked, a fruit basket in hand, Haagen-Dazs ice cream dripping down her cheek. You have got a bind, a blindfold, and a swelling desire. She teases you so hard it hurts. You grab an artichoke, and as a benign punishment, use it as a kinky implement of delicious torment (from the novel Bite by Jenny Lyn). She sighs and invites you through the backdoor. You stroke her slithering back, rub it with silky peanut butter, foamy whipped cream, and champagne ice cubes. Scrumptious, is it not?

 

Food play and foreplay, mouth-feel and nostalgia, all these are gifts we share with the rest of the world. There is an aggressive blissfulness to eating and making love, a subliminal sexiness to licking fingers and mouth-feeding. Food and sex allow us to get sensual and swoon with pleasure, delve into the erotic and lose ourselves in the creative moment, have fun and strengthen romantic bonds. Tasting life differently seems so wonderfully good; it (like artist Lady Sovereign puts it) makes my nips hard just like cherry pips.