It is everywhere. The candid excessiveness, the sweet destructiveness, the ultimate ecstasy, the neurotic masturbation of the spirit… the craving for the earth’s most delightful joys and most flesh-centered ambitions... the addiction to sex, love, and romance! A young woman ends an abusive love relationship and ends up dismembered in a dumpster. A famed CEO gets charged with sexual harassment in a scandalous bar. A public official admits being a serial seducer…. This is not gossip. This is the true face of addiction.
Is it the same as sex addiction?
Though they share a few similarities, addiction to sex and addiction to seduction are two different things. When it comes to the sexual act, a sex addict will seek the unbounded recurrence of orgasms, and will get them by any means (oral sex, solo, or conjoint/organic or robotic masturbation…). A seduction addict, on the other hand, will flirt with several lovers and fulfill a very specific need - the need to feel wanted and desired, exercise passionate connections and suggestive pursuits, and constantly re-establish the self’s desirability to the opposite sex. While one addiction is a physiological and compulsive vice, and the other a psychological and egotistical one, both of the two drugs make us mistake the intensity of sexual activity and new romance for something deeper and more meaningful. They also force us to believe that hooking people with sex is a sure strategy to keep them around. The addiction to seduction is a world of sexual dependency that gets high from first kisses, one-time love making, and erotic novelty.
Is it the same as love addiction?
Though they fill an emotional emptiness, addiction to love and addiction to seduction are two separate worlds. No man is an island, and since our culture is a culture of image and ownership that forces us to mate with someone who supports a good image, we have no other choice but to figure out a way to be involved with suitable procreators. Furthermore, since a long-term relationship is comfortable, secure, and stable (in other words, perfect for child-rearing), a love addict resorts to his naturally heightened compulsiveness and possessiveness to hang on to all sorts of liaisons, even abusive ones. Love addiction sort of comes with the socio-sexual DNA. In opposition, a seduction addict systematically avoids all sorts of long-term attachments and cannot stand the notion of giving power to someone outside of himself in order to gain control and maintain balance. He is an introvert, self-reliant, conquest-oriented individual who invests in his sexual charisma and socio-romantic skills to self-medicate the hunger for gratification.
The ethereal and euphoric side of seduction addiction
Once the seducer becomes aware of the chemical effects of his heady addiction, and once he is willing to monitor it or recycle it, love and sex cease to be an egoist’s pursuit of happiness and transcends to a sacred form of connection with the self and life overall. The flirting party will enjoy an exclusive and total immersion in the tender relationship. He will find the energy he has to have and the relentlessness he needs to rekindle love sparks over and over again. The courted party will discover a greater sense of personal worth. The rush of “first love” will be the catalyst that sustains the bonding necessary for a lasting intimate attachment. In the mindset of an “addict,” seduction is a doorway to liberation, self-love, and self-esteem… away from the inner conflicts of right or wrong, away from all human limitations.
How to deal with your seduction’s cons the best possible way
Addiction takes place in the mind, but so does healing. If you are in a relationship, you will have to stop blaming the other person for your sadness, anxiety, and loneliness. Reach out for the person you really are. Learn to accept yourself as you are. Manage to take responsibility for your life. When you feel weak, listen to your intuition. Let your senses lead the way. Exercise this on a daily basis. It sure is for your own good, because it is the only way you could survive a breakup if the relationship is not meant to be. If you are free, give yourself more time. Focus on your spiritual wellbeing and personal fulfillment. Believe that healthy love is possible. Believe that the only person you can change is you. Change your beliefs to those that encourage healthy love. Let go of the fear, and experience yourself as unconditional love and live it.
Contentment, creative passion, sexual excitement, and incredibly seductive preludes of wholesome love are our kind’s favorite “feel good” chemicals. The bad news is that very often we stop there. Seduction, obsession, and addiction become so passionately entangled they fail to find their way back to lucidity. The anonymity, affordability, and accessibility of the Internet block all that exists. However, it is possible to break free by transforming seduction into foreplay, romance into love… by travelling through the bleak landscape of disillusionment and power struggles. How nice would it be to win the fight and seduce life!