Are You Making Love or Just Having Sex?

Monday, February 15, 2016
Are You Making Love or Just Having Sex?

It’s evident that in every society, sex is the prime theme among people... and the crown topic on every tongue. As Freud diagnosed it, it is the birthplace of our deepest fantasies, yet our humiliating profanities are derived from it. It is the spring out of which our wildest desires flow; still our notorious taboos are built around it. But is sex what most people think it is? Is it a saturation of one’s physical desires? Or is it something deeper and much more profound than that?


When people hear the word sex, the first thing that comes to mind is physical pleasure. To them, sex is the couple’s tool to keep their bodies stimulated and refreshed; it’s the “cherry on top of the cake.” A perfect definition according to the common opinion would be, "a 30 minute physical action that relieves tension and stress between couples." But seldom do people pause and search deeper than this shallow image. They are oblivious to the fact that there’s something much more significant, and scientifically, much more stimulating than your average sex session; we call it making love!


Love is one of the strongest feelings a human possesses, given the fact that humans are a bundle of emotions ready to explode in a multitude of colorful feelings when stimulated; from fear, to relief, to anxiety, to jealousy, to self-esteem, to ecstasy, to sadness, to joy. And all of these feelings are spurred by the physical contact that we humans undertake from our environment. What if this contact was the ultimate feeling, stimulating all your physical and, most importantly, your emotional senses, shooting you up to cloud number 9?


Well, it’s not a fantasy, it’s real life, and it’s something any one of us can do with a partner. It’s not about the time or the performance; it’s about your emotional state.


When you’re having intercourse with your partner, slow down, feel what’s happening. Communicate with your partner; ask her/him what s/he wants, what is pleasurable and what is not. And most importantly, talk about your emotions. Tell her/him what you’re feeling; let your partner know the pleasure you’re going through. Simply express your love to your partner! As the renowned sexologist Dr. Lin put it, “Everyone has to learn the other’s pleasure points. You can’t make love if you want your pleasure and disregard your partner’s; you’ll be having sex, just sex…”


Our human existence revolves around our emotions. Without them, a man is but a machine. So don’t have sex, make love! Get involved with your emotions, learn to feel, and you’ll fall in love with your partner over and over again, each time you make love. And if you keep it up, every day of the year will be Valentine’s Day!



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