The 10 Commandments of Manhood

Saturday, June 01, 2013
The 10 Commandments of Manhood

“Don’t be too loud… too pushy… too independent,” “Curls make you look untidy, savage,” “Push your shoulders back, strut your behind, and walk with glam … like your feet don’t touch the ground,” “Never sit with your legs crossed.” […]. Societies have always treated females in certain ways. And when boys misbehave, they say, “Boys are just being boys!” But do not be fooled into thinking that the masculine gender has it easier, because men themselves can be as scheming, making up rules as if they were gods.    


In men’s code, disregarding certain laws is “blasphemy”

1. Men shall not make vulgar displays of excessive masculinity that might hurt or humiliate others, nor allow a bully to go unchallenged in any situation. A man’s job is to make the world a safer place, just as a woman makes it brighter and prettier.


2. Men shall never lose composure in public... never curse, never show hesitation when a fight is in order, and never stare at other women in the presence of their significant other.


3. Men shall never underestimated or disrespect women. Never breakup with them via social media, nor dismiss them for unsound reasons. Never snoop through their e-mails, closets, or medicine chests, nor ask them for sexual favors when their body language suggests none.


4. Men shall not sit still if a pregnant woman stands in a bus (or any other public setting).


5. Men shall not make a pass at another man’s sister if they have spent time with him for more than 24 hours.


6. Men shall not invest their life savings in a company whose business model they do not value, nor use their talents in the service of an establishment that contradicts their own convictions... nor impress a girl by joining any group that requires a genuine interest they do not share.


7. Men shall not demand praise for doing what they are supposed to do (taking care of the little ones, cleaning up their own mess, working for a living). If they are good at it, women will have a clear idea about how to reward them in the bedroom … and justice will be served!


8. Men shall not lie to themselves, give kids false promises, nor cheat on their wives (and tax auditors).


9. Men shall not criticize another man’s wife in front of him, nor embarrass a father in front of his child.


10. Men shall not cry. Only when a faithful dog dies to save its master, only when his car wrecks the boss's, and unless she is using her teeth, is the man allowed to sob overtly.


In men’s code, even the most trivial misbehavior counts


1. Under no circumstances should two men share an umbrella or a conversation in a bathroom.


2. Men shall not drink alcohol-free cocktails, nor eat ice cream (or any other vanilla-infused and color-died delicacies) in public. It just looks wrong!


3. Men shall not wear an out-of-place item (clothes emblazoned with cartoon characters) or match formal pants with toe sandals … simply because it is “ironic.” If a man needs to make a statement, his word is his bond.


4. Men shall not talk about salaries in a circle of new friends; it cheapens their image.


5. Men shall not talk politics or religion in a circle of old friends; it is like walking into a minefield with no caution whatsoever. Men can be sensitive to the most surprising subjects.


6. Men shall not undermine a seriously discussed issue; it will only show an offensive immaturity.


7. Men shall not show fear in front of a dog or a small child.


8. Friends shall not let friends wear Speedos. It is a matter of pride … life and death when it comes down to hooking-up with hot women in bikinis. 


9. Men shall not stop and ask for directions when a woman is in the car. The lack of determination can compromise a man’s integrity in the split of a second. However, if the destination is not within reach, amends should be made.  

10. Men shall not check their cell phones in bed. To a woman, that is like having a threesome with their inbox, job title, or friends.

Being a man is not a walk in the park; it requires assimilating social values as well as non-formal creeds to select correctly what is manly to do and not to do. Very often, the second form of socialization wins over the first because a man’s ego and his ambition to score the alpha male title is highly vital to his sexual health. Although the above-mentioned commandments may sound amusing, manhood thrives to create a complete, free-willed human being … who concedes, but seldom conforms to what is ordinary.

Getting Personal with Mirva Kadi