Remember! As you read this article, you are listening to yourself. Is that the case when you communicate with your partner as well? I have always studied the nature of communication between two people, whether lovers, business people, students, or even kids. I have learned more about this area not only by specializing in communication as a profession, but by observing people and analyzing the words and behavior that reflect their thoughts. In regards to relationships, I am usually the one who listens and attempts to understand what the other person is saying or trying to say – verbally and non-verbally. Hence, I would like to disclose the secrets to effective communication since they can help you to comprehend and think about what to say, when to speak, how to listen, and when to listen.
Secret #1: Active Listening
Until now, you have been listening to yourself, to what others say about you, and even listening to music. You have been doing so in the form of active listening. Thus, when communicating with your other half, active listening helps to value the essence of any situation or problem; it helps to recognize your partner’s deep feelings of hurtfulness, fear, anger, love, and joy. You need to look for both types of communication: verbal (what you hear) and non-verbal (what you notice). In the business world, successful communication starts when people begin to listen to customers, clients, and employees while engaging with them. This essentially applies to dating and marriage as well.
Secret #2: Beautiful Positive Conversation
Generally, couples who have different ways of thinking, backgrounds, and values find trouble communicating when it comes to arguments. Whenever you consider a disagreement a way to better understand, and an approach to work things out, it automatically becomes a beautiful conversation by which both parties try to find solutions. However, the complexity begins when both parties want to prove their viewpoints correct… and everything else wrong. In the world of communication, positive thinking is a necessity. When a person reflects positivity, it means that he/she is willing to communicate optimistically.
Secret #3: Honesty and Trueness
Thoughts, feelings, and actions are translated into communication in its two forms. When all come from your heart, and when honesty comes through, couples can have healthier conversations and discussions with each other. Quite often, one person speaks most of the time and the other one listens; this is never good, even if a relationship seems ever-lasting. Effective communication involves a two-way conversation indeed!
Combining the 3 secrets mentioned can lead to:
- Improved relationships
- Quicker conflict resolution
- Increased clarity in your love life
- Positive attitude and satisfaction in life
Now let’s see if you do indeed communicate effectively with your partner. Answer the questions below:
1. You are:
2. You are the type of person who:
A. Never gives up no matter what.
B. Gives up if a situation is out of your hands.
3. How do you usually enjoy talking with your partner?
A. Together at a private location.
B. With a group of friends.
4. When conversing with your partner, you:
Observe his/her body language.
Observe his/her facial expressions.
5. Let’s say you are in an argument with your partner, you:
A. Try to solve the problem by listening.
B. Defend yourself until the end.
6. Do you inform your partner if he/she doesn’t listen?
7. Have you ever attended a workshop on effective communication?
Mostly As: You're a good communicator: You usually know how to handle a communication crisis. You have the necessary skills and you generally put them into practice in your relationship. Yet, if you want to become a better communicator, try to apply the secrets of effective communication; doing so will enhance your quality and outlook towards life.
Mostly Bs: You're a poor communicator: Take a second look at how you communicate in your everyday life; sometimes, it affects your mode of speaking and listening within your relationship with your partner. Read books on communication, and try to apply active listening and speaking methods without being defensive or offensive. Relax, take a deep breath, and start your communication revolution.